If you think that this update is gonna be about the matches, the scores and the news about the Under-20 World Cup that is happening right now in Colombia, you're terrible wrong.
Actually the first draft of this update was about that... but then when I put the title it was more like a critic to the government, because if you know what is 2girls1cup I can make a loooooot of euphemism about how we are something that the two girls are licking from the cup... but I guess you don't find that interesting, also I don't want to show only bad things about this town...
So, in a dangerous play I went to dance on saturday night, why was that dangerous? 'cause that night Colombia destroyed the French U-20 national team 4-1 and of course I was wearing my official (until they changed to Nike) Adidas France track top, so people was giving me bad looks everywhere, but don't get me wrong, they don't hate French people, they don't hate foreign people... they hate whatever or whoever threat their national pride, and that is kinda funny because usually you can hear them talking trash about our national team, or wearing jackets, shirts even caps of Argentina, Brazil, or Spain... c'mon!!! Spain!!! I don't hate Spaniards, actually is one of the countries I want to visit someday, but... they're fuckin' Spain! the same country that came here, stole our gold and rape our women, I want to know the official Jewish fan club of the Bayern Leverkusen!
And yeah, that's kinda hypocrite from me if you look my closet and find my France jacket, Russian t-shirt and stuff from Boston, but I can explain everything... seriously I can, by the way, if I say I can is because I can, but that doesn't meant I will :) anyway, if you don't know how is the bogotanian (sic) party, this is the perfect time to know it... because you can go to another website that explain that shit, 'cause I don't have any fuckin' idea how is the party here, why? because I hate party, I went to some parties, night clubs, pub's even whiskey shops... actually forget that last part, that's illegal here, if you don't know what a whiskería is, maybe you can ask the pimp in the entrance for info.
Anygüey, so I was there, standing in the entrance of the most popular night club in one of the less popular neighborhood of my beloved city, a club full of proud Colombians, I entered under my own responsibility, dear reader, right now you're wondering, "oh my god, they're gonna kill this French wanna be" NO! that wasn't my fear, I was afraid because it was a parranda vallenata, a party with a live vallenato band, and that my friends is like hell to me, in the future I'm gonna write about it. So a normal party here is a club full of people sweating and screaming and dancing and drinking... I guess like everywhere in the world, but here the Latinos have something extra, I cannot describe what, I think is that inner fire... I don't know, but is incredible how people here don't ever stop, but back to the parranda, vallenato is a strange thing, is a cheerful, happy rhythm but you must dance it slowly, once I tried to explain to a friend this kind of dance, but she replied "it sounds retarded", then I show her a video about a regular people dancing, and she replied "it looks retarded", then I tried to explain her that is slow because... wait a minute, it happened again, why I'm trying to defend something that I ALSO think is retarded!
Then I was exhausted, dancing is not an easy task, also is stupid, why we dance? are we trying to summon an old god? I can see why we dance with our couples, but why dance with a stranger? why try to rub my sweetie skin with a complete stranger and also sweetie skin? is ridiculous, I wonder why animals don't dance, because I can see that in dancing there is something animal, primitive, but still animals don't dance, they have a lot of courtship rituals, but any of them include rubbing your belly against the woman you're trying to date, at least as far as I know, I don't know if exist some kind of feline Latinos. And then something strange happened, something odd even for the Bogotá's party standards, I went to the bar to get a Pepsi, so I had to go thru the dancing crowd, a difficult effort 'cause is not a static mass, and is not like and Indian/Travolta/Disney movie that everyone dance exactly like the rest, no, is like a hive with smoke... everyone by itself... finally I can get the bar, I asked for my Pepsi (because I'm a CM Punk fan) and then when I tried to get back to my seat, some random woman was in the middle of the... path? in the middle of the only space that you can walk, so I told her, "excuse me" and she turned around and offer me aguardiente, I was like "oh no, thanks so much, but no thanks" and then again I ask for permission to walk, but she didn't move... so I gently push her with my hands and tried to go thru but then she took my hands and started to dance with me behind her and she started to advance by dance... she cross all the room with my hands in her hips and dancing, then I almost die, not because she was so hot, or something like that, but because I was afraid that my girlfriend saw me like that, and trust me... how the fuck I can explain that? so I tried to escape but she grabbed me even harder so I have to use my social skills... but the only (in)coherent thing that I could say was "thank you for the ride" she again look back and gave me a sight of "you don't know what a ride is, baby..."
Then something normal happened, a girl ex-friend of one of my girlfriend's friend entered to the bathroom with another girl, it wasn't a cup... it was a bathroom.
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